My 60/60 Vision

Feng Shui

6 Aug

A year, a lifetime… not a party

The year I turned 60, I knew one thing: I didn’t want a party (I'd only end up organising it, hosting it and cleaning up after it myself… no thanks). So instead, inspired by a book I’d recently read, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rueben, and a woman who'd written a 30-things list for her 30th, I wrote my own list(s).

Sixty things across five categories, and off I set on the 1st January to begin my Year of 60.

What I didn't expect was how much this list would teach me. Turning 60 has a way of sharpening your view of things; What's mattered, what hasn't, who you want to be for yourself and anyone along for the ride.

So consider this equal parts story and field notes: the small habits worth keeping, the big leaps worth taking, and a few hard-won truths about what it actually takes to put yourself first for a change.

So… What Was On The List?

It started small. The "I keep meaning to" things. Catch up with people. Walk on the beach. Write that letter. Then I folded in the habits I'd been quietly trying to build like journaling, mindfulness, everything infused with kindness. It sorted itself into five buckets:

Every Day - little micro actions and activities I could realistically do daily
60 Times - there were a lot of things I wanted to turn into HABITS… so I wanted to do them more than once
Every Month - things I knew I wanted to do at least 12 times that year (and monthly thereafter)
6 Times - some things felt better to do every couple of months
Just Wanted To - the bucket-listy kind of things

Once written, it was closer to a few hundred things once you counted the multiples. Some were ridiculous, with zero plan for how I'd pull them off. I kept them anyway and decided to see what the year would bring.

Every Day: The Small Non-Negotiables

The daily things were few, but maybe they mattered most? As someone who resists routine, these kept me honest all year.

Journalling
A pre-sleep reflection on the good, the not-so-good, what I'd liked most about today… achieved 100% and totally recommend this for the processing and awareness it brings
Meditate
No fixed time or place, whatever the day allowed. Cracked 300 days… ~85%. A distinction.
Walk Amber (our dog)
Mostly fell to Rob and me. Chased 100%, landed it.
Gratitude photo
One a day, via 365grateful.com. Result: 365 photos, now becoming a coffee-table book. Can’t wait to flick through a year of things that make me happiest.

Sixty Times: The Big Repeats

Beach walk number one happened on the 1st January.

Donation number one wasn’t long after (McDonald's drive-thru, shopping centre collectors, every raffle ticket opportunity… I was there!)

60 EFT (tapping) sessions
60 memories recorded with Rob, with my siblings, and my own (drafted, yet to be ‘tidied’ maybe that’ll be my 65th-year job?)
60 scratch & win tickets I can’t even tell you the little bursts of joyful anticipation these delivered… even though there were no ‘big wins’ it was fun!
60 random acts of kindness
60 hours donated
60 gifts to kids in need (this actually grew into 60 Operation Christmas Child boxes, with help from friends - truly heart-warming to make this happen and know it brought so much happiness to kids and families).
60 thank-you letters… this deserves its own special mention.
I had aimed to write to 60 people who'd been a special part of my life. Turns out is was the hardest, best, most time-consuming thing on the whole list, all year.
I started writing them mid-January so they'd all be ready to send and be received by my birthday in May. Sister, teammates, the doctors who cared for our daughter, mentors, old friends. I poured a lot of love, gratitude and memories into those 60 letters, and was delighted to receive 57 replies back.
Turned out to be the greatest gift I could ever give myself.

Monthly & 6 Times: Making It A Habit

Games nights with fam & friends
Scrabble, Bean Boozled (spin the wheel, taste a bean, guess the flavour. Yuk! Blah! Spit! Disgusting. Never again, thank you), Pictionary… Trivial Pursuit, Uno and Phase 10 became the real staples
A monthly outing with each daughter
Movies, breakfast dates, shopping, expos, awards nights. Kept it up ever since. Best gift ever. AND bonus things we love to do together (watching movies with one of them, all things lacrosse with the other)
12 pillion rides
on Rob's newly restored motorbike… the first go was truly terrifying and sooo long, but I got the hang of it eventually, we shortened them..… and I maybe even, started to look forward to it?
Flowers for myself, every second month
One for each decade lived. Friends started sending them too, unprompted. Colourful, fragrant reminders that I am always surrounded by beauty and love and deserving of treating myself.

Live entertainment was meant to be 6 shows but became 12 (what a shame… not!) We went to the Hopman Cup, Cirque du Soleil, David Campbell, a string of gifted tickets I never saw coming (Ten Tenors, Circus Quirkus and more), Monique's Bounce Dance Co concerts, and two full-scale productions. Proof there's something in just putting an idea out there. Ask and you will receive.

Because I Just Wanted To…

The no-repeats, no-counting, "one day" list… the big-ticket stuff:

Climbed Sydney Harbour Bridge with Rob and the girls, despite being genuinely terrified of heights. Best experience.
Sang in front of 60+ strangers spontaneously, on the Opera House steps, same trip… definitely counts (and highly recommend doing scary stuff in front of people you know you’ll never see again and who’s opinion of you genuinely doesn’t matter)
Wave Rock… a promise 29 years in the making, finally kept on Boxing Day and OMG it was worth the wait
Twilight sail on the Swan River… a friend's invitation out of nowhere, becalmed and drifting home through moonlight. Magical.
Jewellery revamp old, broken gold pieces reset into something new to mark the milestone
Two beach breaks at Rob's sister's place… one a business retreat, one a reunion with banking friends I've kept since 1987
Rob's 60th… the girls and I orchestrated 60 gifts in the 60 days leading up to his August birthday, plus a surprise Neil Diamond lunch with 60 of his fave people (yes, I know… one of MY 60th birthday ‘things’ was organising HIS 60th birthday things… can’t help myself!)
Raised $6,000 for the lacrosse foundation I chair AND got to watch WA win the men's national title in SA

What Didn't Happen (Yet)

Abseiling, whale watching, swing dancing, re-writing our wills, swimming with dolphins were all pushed to a self-granted extension at 61, and still not done five years on.

No regrets. Some things aren't meant to be rushed.

What did land in that extra stretch: the 10th Heartkids Gala Ball, a Mandurah lights cruise, kayaking, family gatherings on both sides (now an annual tradition), stargazing, godmother photo books, and finally replanting Claire's garden.

The Epitaph

Somewhere in a year of too many funerals, a friend mentioned her university course made students write their own epitaph. I gave it a go:

"Fran had a kind heart and wanted nothing more than to love & be loved.
She lived her life on purpose… loving & giving to all the people & communities that shaped her own life & learning, leaving them healthier, wealthier and happier than before."